Opposite to Emotion Behavior

Emotions love themselves. The more we feel an emotion, the more we engage in behavior that makes us feel that emotion even stronger. When we're sad, all we want to do is curl up in bed for hours on end, usually not eating, not talking to anyone, listening to sad music... Sound familiar? The problem with this, is the more we lie in bed not doing anything, the more physiologically depressed we become. This then leads to us feeling even sadder, and eventually we can be pretty demoralized when we look around and realize we've wasted the whole day.

To break this feedback loop, we need to engage in a behavior inconsistent to the emotion we're trying to manage. This is a technique called opposite-to-emotion behavior. To do this, identify the emotion (sadness), identify the mood-dependent behavior (inaction/isolation), then do the opposite of that (exercise, social interaction, productive behavior). After a while, the feedback loop is broken, and you have successfully managed that painful emotion. This works for any emotion:

Anger: Instead of engaging in conflict, act opposite to that emotion by gently withdrawing, or even better, doing something nice for someone else.
Fear/Anxiety: Instead of hiding or avoiding, approach what you are afraid of with full commitment.
Unjustified guilt or shame: Instead of trying to keep something (that is not shameworthy or morally wrong) a secret, expose it with the spirit of acceptance.
Justified guilt or shame:  If you did something that was out of line with your values, do something in-line with your values that overshadows that other thing.

Please note this is not intended to be a way of not feeling your feelings. Emotions are important cues that something important is happening. This technique is merely a way of managing emotions if you're afraid they might become too intense, or last a little too long. Give it a try the next time you have an urge to hide in bed and listen to sad music. You might be surprised at how you can turn around what might have otherwise been a day wasted!

For more information on cognitive behavioral treatment of mood disorders and anxiety, visit Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in Los Angeles

Treating Pain with Mindfulness Meditation

Pain is a pain. Suffering through a long day with a headache or chronic back pain can make it seem like time is standing still. Coffee doesn't taste as good. Little things set you off. And most of your mental real estate is focused on how terrible everything is... which doesn't really help.

Enter mindfulness. Mindfulness is a practice borrowed from Buddhism by cognitive psychologists due to the many beneficial effects it can have, including reducing pain. How does it work you ask? Well, the entirety of the Buddha's teachings take up more than 100 volumes of written work, so it can take a while to explain. But the quick and dirty version is to simply notice the pain.

Usually we try to distract from it, which is very, very difficult to do. When we're not distracting, we're spending all of our energy struggling with it - wishing it weren't there, getting angry at it, etc. None of this is helpful. It just adds additional suffering to what is already a painful experience.

The mindful approach is to allow the pain to be there. Rather than trying (somehow) to make it go away through sheer will, just notice it, and make space for it. Dropping the struggle with the pain can provide a lot of relief.

While you're allowing the pain to be there, just sit with it, and notice it. Put words to the experience. Where is the pain? Is it tingling? Is there pressure? Where does it begin and end in your body? Are there warm parts? Cool parts? By describing the experience without adding a lot of catastrophizing and negative judgment, we experience the pain in a new way. A lot of people report that just the mere act of sitting with pain and describing it, eliminates the pain entirely. A friend recently used this approach when he was having his wisdom teeth extracted... WITHOUT ANAESTHESIA! He reported he noticed pain, but relating to it in this way made it tolerable. Just another event in his body that he was noticing, like the hiccups, or a yawn.

It definitely takes practice, but with a little effort you can transform pain into something that is much more tolerable, and creates much less suffering.

To learn more about mindfulness-based interventions, visit Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in Los Angeles

Would You Really Tell THAT to a Friend?

We are constantly telling ourselves things all the time, a running commentary buzzing around in our minds. It's how we make sense of and interact with the world. Unfortunately not everything we tell ourselves is necessarily helpful, or even true. "I'm too fat..." or "I'll never get this job," "why bother..." - Sound familiar? Cognitive therapy, developed by Aaron Beck in the middle of the last century, identified this problem and developed a very straightforward solution: to look at  our thoughts rather than looking from our thoughts. It's a process cognitive scientists term metacognition. It refers to the ability to examine our thinking process rather than assume every thought we have is true. It is the foundation of cognitive therapy.

To illustrate how dysfunctional thoughts cause problems, let's use an example. Peter, a college freshman, has a crush on a young woman he sits next to in class, Kim. Peter has wanted to ask her out all semester, and now he only has one class left with her before summer break. Committed, he decided he would ask immediately after class. While trying to pay attention in class, Peter had an onslaught of self-defeating thoughts, such as "She'll probably turn me down" and had lots of images in his mind of her laughing at him and ridiculing him in front of the whole class. This heightened his anxiety to a fever pitch, so much so that his mind "froze" and when he approached Kim. His mind went blank, and she gave him an uncomfortable smile and wished him a nice summer vacation.

Had Peter used a little metacognition, he probably would have noticed that his thoughts were mood-dependent, meaning that they are thoughts triggered by anxiety, rather than by the actual evidence around him, which is that Kim seemed too nice to try to humiliate him. In reality, it would probably have been highly unlikely for Kim to try to hurt his feelings by ridiculing him. But his thoughts triggered more and more anxiety until he couldn't think straight.

One tool to accessing that elusive metacognition is to ask yourself, "What would I tell a friend if he were in this situation?" It's very simple, but helps to take all of the emotions we have wrapped up in our own situations, and de-personalize them a bit. Here's how it might go:

Friend: If I ask her out she'll probably turn me down and laugh at me in front of everyone. That would be humiliating.
Peter: Well you don't know if she'd turn you down, but what I do know is that you really don't stand a chance with her if you never try. And do you really think she would laugh at you? I don't think that happens very often. She'd probably politely make up some excuse, and it wouldn't be great, but it certainly wouldn't be humiliating.

A simple method, yes. But it is a very effective one at helping us to take a more realistic perspective. It's interesting how we have more access to our own wisdom when we remove ourselves from the situation. The next time you notice an inner monologue of self-defeating thoughts, ask yourself, "What would I tell a friend if she were in my shoes?"

For more information on cognitive behavioral therapy, visit Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in Los Angeles

Turn That Mood Upside Down With the Miraculous HALF-SMILE

One of my favorite techniques from cognitive behavioral therapy research is the "half-smile." This is a technique borrowed from Buddhism, and it's quick, easy, and free. Research has shown this technique can improve your mood after only ten minutes of practice. Compare that with the four to six weeks it takes for an antidepressant to start working! Just kidding - it's definitely not a replacement for medication or therapy, but it can really turn a lousy mood around.

Here's how it works:
Begin to smile with your lips, but stop just when you notice a small amount of tension at the corners of your mouth. If someone were watching you, he/she probably wouldn't notice any change in your face. It's a subtle, tiny smile. (If you try to keep up a big toothy grin for ten minutes, nothing will happen other than your face will start to hurt.) Now wear this for ten minutes without stopping, and notice how your mood has shifted. Most people report a significant uptick in their overall mood. If you don't notice any significant change, some people find it helpful, in addition to the half-smile, to "smile with their eyes."

The way this works is the bi-directional nature of behavior and emotions. Most of the time, when we experience a positive emotion, such as joy, we smile as a consequence of the joy. But what the most current cognitive-behavioral research as shown time and again, is that it works the other way too. Smile for a few minutes and you feel happy. Furrow your brow and you experience anger. Breathe short, shallow breaths, and you can induce panic. Basically, engage in the behavior and the emotion will follow (aka fake it 'til you make it).

Give it a try the next time you're sitting in traffic or waiting in line at the DMV, and see how it works.

For more information on cognitive behavioral and mindfulness-based therapies, visit Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in Los Angeles

Introducing Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Hacks

This is just a brief post to announce the existence of this blog. The intention is to bring concepts and techniques from cognitive behavioral therapy to a wider audience. Cognitive behavioral therapy is the most well-researched mental health treatment that has consistently proven to be briefer and more effective than traditional talk-therapy. For more information on cognitive behavioral therapy or to find a cognitive behavioral therapist, visit Cognitive Behavioral Therapy in Los Angeles